Almost everyone is bullied at some time in their lives, mostly in the first year of secondary school by brothers and sisters, by
neighbors, by adults or by other children. If you are being bullied, you may feel scared, vulnerable and quite alone but you owe it to yourself to try and sort out the situation so that the bullying stops. Remember, no-one deserves to be bullied.
It is surprising that all sorts of people who are now very successful adults were bullied when they were young. It is encouraging to know that it is possible to succeed, in spite of being tormented at school. All of these well-known people were bullied at school. Phil Collins, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Michelle Pfeiffer, Frank Bruno and many others.
For some, the bullying went on for years; for others it was less frequent. All of them feel that bullying is wrong and that it was not their fault, but the fault of the bully looking for a victim.
What can I do if I am being bullied?
Your school may already have a way of dealing with bullying. For example, some schools:
Have Anti-Bullying Policy for dealing with incidents.
Encourage anyone who is being bullied, or has witnessed bullying to tell someone about it.
Have 'bully boxes' where people can leave notes about what is happening.
Have student meetings or even 'courts' where problems like bullying are discussed and dealt with .
Have specially assigned students or teachers who are there to help.
If your school has an Anti-Bullying system, use it to get help. If you're not sure, talk to a teacher.
Some schools may ignore bullying but you can still help yourself or ask others to help you.
Tell a friend what is happening. It will be harder for the bully if you have a friend with you for support.
Try to ignore the bullying by walking away. It's harder for the bully to bully you if your not listening.
Don't fight back because some bullies are bigger. If you fight back it'll make it worse and you'll get hurt.
Don't show that you are upset or angry, they love that reaction "it's fun." Keep calm and hide your emotions, they might get bored and leave you alone. They can't bully you if you don't care.
It's not worth getting hurt over possessions or money. Give them what they want. They can be replaced, you can't.
Avoid being alone in the places that you know the bullies are likely to be. Change your route to school, or go to places where other people are there. It's not fair that you have to do this, but it might put the bully off.
Sometimes asking the bully to repeat what they said can put them off. Often bullies are not brave
enough to repeat the remark exactly so they tone it down. If they repeat it, you will have made them do something they hadn't planned on and this gives you some control of the situation.
Keep a written record of what is happening. Write down what happened. When you tell someone it's easier to prove it happened.
Who can I tell?
Usually it's difficult to sort out the bullying on your own or even with the help of friends. You should think seriously about telling an adult. It's the only way to get the bullying stopped.
If you need help, don't be embarrassed about asking. Everyone needs help sometimes and asking for help to stop bullying doesn't mean that you are weak or a failure.
Telling about bullying isn't 'telling tales' or 'grassing'. You have the right to be safe from attacks and harassment and you should not be silent when you are being tormented and hurt.
Often, people don't tell about bullying because they are afraid the bully will find out and things will get worse. This is a natural fear but schools can put a stop to bullying without the bully learning who told, especially if the bully has several victims.
Even if the bully does find out, it is better to have things out in the open.
